Thursday, January 9, 2014

Worst Films of 2013

I do alright dodging bad films given how misleading trailers are these days. I think it was John Carpenter who said "You have to experience the worst to appreciate the best." please correct me if I'm wrong. Below are some brief thoughts on the cinematic atrocities I witnessed last year. 

Texas Chainsaw 3D
I'll always remember this particular sequel as the one that tries to justify murder. I know many horror fans like the same stuff over and over again and that's fine, but there have been plenty of these 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' movies so it would be nice to see something different but that's not the case here which is what disappointed me the most; as well as terrible acting and the lack of plot or a slasher film's definition of a plot. 

The Last Stand
Anyone would think that after a lengthy career of acting in films one would over time improve his or her's skills. But not Arnold Schwarzenegger, he's actually worse than ever in this very mediocre action film about nothing. I hope he's enjoying his twilight years; betray your wife and children then go back to "acting", brilliant.

Movie 43
I have a pretty twisted sense of humour, I like bad taste jokes, vulgarity and all that. But when you give that type of material to filmmakers who have no understanding of comedy you get Movie 43. It's so bad, insulting on so many levels. I don't even know what else to say. 

This is what Jessica Chastain chose to do after Zero Dark Thirty, bloody hell! The concept for this film is pretty interesting but it's just the way it was executed, it was just so bland and I could connect with any of the characters. I was bored to death with this, very disappointing. 

Curse of Chucky
One thing I really liked about the first two Child's Play films was the real world setting; single mother doing her best to raise her son, then in the sequel the often cold world of foster care. But in this latest instalment in a already dead series the setting is a big spooky old house full of clique and mindless rubbish. This movie did nothing for me, not scary in the slightest. However Brad Dourif's voice acting as was great as in the previous films and his daughter Fiona Dourif was decent in the leading role.  

A Good Die to Die Hard
I don't think director John Moore has ever had an original thought in his life based on his filmography. This unnecessary sequel does't even feel like a Die Hard movie and Bruce Willis just came across as a regular Joe doing a John McClane impersonation, who is this man? A Good Die to Die Hard represents everything that's wrong with the action genre today, absolute rubbish!  

I hope 2014 is shaping up well for you all and are enjoying some great movies. 
You can fellow me on Twitter @DrHasslein and check out all my latest film related posts on my Cinematic Randomness Facebook page. 

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